Copyright Andrea Tsakalis

Athena the goddess of wisdom – Copyright Andrea Tsakalis

Everyone knows how to talk about sex but not many of us know how to talk about rape. So sometimes we use words to describe rape which are more to do with sex than abuse.

Whatever words you use to describe rape or sexual abuse to the police will be the words used in court by the police and the Crown Prosecution Service to make your case.

So if you don’t have the words to fit the deed – they won’t either.

This booklet is written to give you some ideas on how you can really tell it like it was. Language can be used to hide violence or to show violence.

If I say ‘this person walked into me’ or ‘this person smashed into me’ I am describing two very different things.

Whoever you are talking to, there are two important things to convey which are often not included in accounts of rape:


1) You never agreed to it

2) It wasn’t sex – it was rape

Download the booklet here

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WARNING: this document contains graphic depictions of rape and sexual abuse


Every part of this booklet may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, transmitted in any form and by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, provided it is not done for financial profit and does not thwart the original meaning and spirit of the document.

Acknowledgement: This text draws extensively from the ideas of Dr Allan Wade who has developed the Response Based Approach


WARNING: Please do NOT give this booklet or the address of the website below to people who are currently talking to the police or who are involved in a court case. This could constitute coaching and could cause the case to be dismissed in the UK.

Please seek advice in other parts of the world.